Our lives are mostly now calibrated according the rapidly-approaching culmination of this pregnancy… The terms “BB” (“Before Baby”) and “AB” (“After Baby”) are oft heard when discussing upcoming events and commitments, and often dictate our decisions. Funnily enough, Edward’s illness enforces us to be mostly housebound already, so having a newborn may not drastically alter our lifestyle.
The impending arrival of this much-desired little blessing, however, brings some concern and overwhelm. Ned, at present, has been struggling with regular 2yo assertiveness, lots of emotion and uncomfortable side effects – which has made life at home rather chaotic and challenging, especially with the return to school. Additionally, Ned’s chemo is again delayed this week (as a result of his bone marrow’s slow recovery), and thus he will be starting dexamethasone (a steroid) at the beginning of next week, after another general anaesthetic on Tuesday morning. Steroids are renowned to make children into “hangry steroid monsters” (and yes, that’s a deliberate combination of “hungry” and “angry”)… not something I particularly want lurking in my house when bringing a newborn home, especially now Seth and Lucy are back at school. Mentally, I’m preparing myself for the inevitable exhaustion, constant tension and sheer frustration of tending to both a frequently-feeding babe and a grumpy 2yo, but unfortunately this doesn’t prevent it still occurring.
So, rather than talking about my concerns, I thought it might be more refreshing to focus on a few blessings we are superbly grateful for…
- The ongoing support and encouragement from our friends, church and community, especially as we’ve been trying to alter our house to accommodate our living requirements now that we're staying here long-term, and the need may arise for an emergency helper to often stay the night.
- Our healthcare system that provides 24/7 specialist care for Ned whenever he needs it, be it from the many skilled doctors, the allied health workers, or the wonderfully caring, playful, cuddly and sympathetic nurses (who even sometimes babysit!), the easily-accessible resources and medications – all essentials that wouldn’t necessarily be available so readily in countries like Congo, where my parents live.
- This darling girl, Lucy. She’s our eldest, and has guided us into parenthood, braving the way for her siblings. Her tenderness, gentleness and loyalty towards Ned constantly impress us and we are so proud of the way she has handled our lives’ abrupt changes without resentment. Although she still tests Seth’s and my patience limits and discipline boundaries fairly frequently (as those near and dear to us are well aware), her love for her little brother, and her unborn sibling, is profound and always perceptible, and for this we are incredibly grateful.
Last, but certainly not least, we thank God that He continues to uphold and sustain us during these times of weariness, anxiety and fear. Life would seem all the more empty and devoid of hope if it weren't for His promises of provision, His love and presence amidst the chaos. Despite the lows in this journey, we truly are blessed in many other ways.
I suspect that, considering this pregnancy is now “term”, the next blog post will be introducing our much-anticipated newest munchkin… and I’m sure the lack of logic in my writing will be entirely attributable to my frequent night wakings!